A Very Long-Winded Explanation For One Little Picture

When I had my original blog, Simply She Goes, I was Kianwi and I did my best to blog anonymously.  I never had a picture of myself, or even a human avatar, instead using things like flowers or lips to represent me out in the great, big Internet.  It’s hard to explain, but the thought of putting up my photo just made me feel too exposed.  This wasn’t really a problem, though, because lots of other bloggers don’t show themselves, either.

When I decided to start this blog and planned to build an online presence for my romance novel pen name Kinley Dane, I figured a picture of a pink flower wasn’t going to cut it.  An author needed a face, right?  But did I need to show my face?  I mean, it was a pen name, after all.  So I visited some clip art sites and searched for ‘blondes.’  Eventually, after wading through hundreds of cartoons of over-the-top sexy, I finally found a picture I could live with and bought it.  This one:




I thought it was cute and a little sexy, sure, but believe me, it was way tamer than what else was out there and it seemed to represent a romance author well.  So I slapped it on my bio and that was that.

Until I was messaging recently with an online friend.  We talked about my avatar and her sexiness, as well as the idea of having an actual picture up, so people could put a face to the name.  The more I thought about it afterward, it struck me that maybe this image wasn’t really the right fit after all.  For one thing, I started to worry that I was misleading people in a Catfishy kind of way.  I’m way more t-shirt and jeans than little black dress.  And even though Kinley Dane is a fake name, she’s still me.

I recently took a picture of myself to text to another online friend so she could see my blow out, as it looked very different from my normal, curly-because-I’m-too-lazy-to-straighten-it-hair.  I found out that it was the first time she had actually seen a picture of me, which really surprised me, because it had never been my intention to hide myself from her, it was more a side effect of blogging anonymously, I guess.

After much pondering, I’ve decided to suck it up and put a face to the name.  Yeah, it’s still a fake name, but that’s more for romance author purposes than anything else at this point.

So here goes!


Straight hair 2


I know.  This isn’t the best picture. I am like the anti-Kim Kardashian of selfies. Actually, I’m pretty much the opposite of Kim Kardashian in every way now that I think about it, but the point is, I’m not great at snapping my own picture.  I don’t remember to smile, because I’m concentrating too hard on looking in the right spot on my phone and clicking on the whatsis and when I do manage to smile, it comes out all wonky with a mentally imbalanced kind of vibe.  But since I don’t feel like waiting for another good hair day when someone else is around to take my picture, you get a serious selfie for now.  But hey!  That’s me, guys!

Okay, phew.  Glad that’s out of the way.




27 thoughts on “A Very Long-Winded Explanation For One Little Picture

  1. Hey, you! Nice to finally “meet”. Well… not really, I guess, since half of my face is always hidden. I also have problems when it comes to taking my picture (mostly because I don’t think I’m very photogenic). I don’t like taking my picture & having it taken. I always feel awkward & the end result never lives up to my mental image of myself. SIGH! Your photo isn’t bad at all, though, even for a serious selfie & being anti-Kim Kardashian scores you bonus points, in my book


  2. I don’t think that cute little avatar is all that far off. Tease your hair and pile on some bright lipstick…
    But I hear you on the selfie thing. I decided one day that a decent selfie was to be my accomplishment. After all, I had just heard that it would be good for my self confidence. 200 pictures later, and I still found myself in PhotoShop.


    • Yeah, I was thinking I should do another photo with lots of lipstick, but who knows when I will get around to it!

      I heard that Kim Kardashian has a book or an article or something about how to take a good selfie, but I just couldn’t bring myself to look it up. And really, is it a skill I really need?? Buy I should learn how to improve photos in Photoshop! That’s a great idea!


  3. Hey, nice to finally “see” you after all these years! You look great. And you being the anti Kim Kardashian, well, that’s like the biggest compliment you could give yourself. Wear that like a badge of honor.


  4. I remain anonymous in an attempt to be employable and the anonymity allows what I am writing to stand on its own without the baggage of race and gender and my extremely good looks clouding the narrative. Oh, and i am totally Catfishing. But if you are writing novels, there’s only so long you can be anonymous. It’s good to put a face to someone I’ve been reading for years.


    • Wait a second…you AREN’T an androgynous pickle in real life? What the heck?? I feel so tricked and manipulated!

      And thanks for continuing to read me for years, what with all my moves and craziness 🙂


  5. I think you’re wise to put a face to your author name. Now put on a bunch of make-up to bring out your eyes and have someone take a photo with your head thrown back in a seductive manner, a slight smile on your lipstick covered mouth. And be sure to get a little lipstick on your teeth so we know it’s you.



    • What make-up you see on my face IS my version of a bunch of make-up 😉 Do they have classes to teach 40 something women how to apply it like a grown-up? But I am going to our fancy hospice fundraiser in November, so just possibly, I might take a picture of my fabulousness that night and post it. We’ll see. Lipstick on my teeth is NO problem, it’s pretty much a guarantee.


      • If you go to a nice department store such as Macy’s, someone in the cosmetics department will show you how to put on make-up for a “glamour shot.” They’ll also sell you the stuff you need. A whole bunch of it. Or you can take the free lesson and buy some cheap lookalike make-up.


        • That seems like an awful lot of work for a picture! You can tell I’m not real enthused about make-up. I just never really have been. The most I wear is eye liner and mascara, and that’s when I’m fancy! I never really appreciated eye shadow and lipstick just makes my lips feel weird 😉 I’m hopeless.


    • Oh, I know…people have stopped me on the street ever since that incident and ask, ‘hey? did you just eat cow brains? Because you just have that sort of face.”

      The somewhat stern expression comes from years of being a nanny. Now off to bed with you Gorilla and tidy up your room!


  6. There’s no such thing as a fake name, Kianwi. It’s the name I know you by and probably always will know you buy, but I’ll just pretend Kinley is your middle name. I’d already seen your face, and you look good in my book. There, I said it.


  7. You had me at anti-Kim Kardashian. In all seriousness, it’s great to finally put a face to a name after all these years. I don’t think your chosen avatar is all that far off. Add some blue eyeshadow, red lipstick, and tilt your head to the side in a provocative way… BINGO! Nailed it! Oh, and smile. 🙂 (hugs)


    • Believe me, I know cowardesness. I woke up the morning I had scheduled this to post and was freaking out, wondering if it was too late to stop it! I think in a few months or years I might become comfortable with it 😉


    • Thanks! Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like that very often…normally it’s curly and I am in constant battle with frizz, ha ha.

      My pen name is close to my real first name and the last name is a play on my dad’s name. I read somewhere that you should choose a pen name that you wouldn’t mind answering to in public, if it ever came to that, so I thought I’d better make mine not too far off from my own name 🙂


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