The Name is Bond. Jane Bond. Or Not.

I have some very, very sad news.  It was a hard week for me, once I came to this realization.  Because I found out something important about myself…

I will never be a super secret spy. sad face

 

I had already had given up my dreams of being a princess (no pedigree) or a ballerina (not so gifted with the gracefulness).  I also accepted that I was not going to be a scientist (let’s just say math and I are not on the same wavelength) nor a truck driver (Yes, I wanted to be one!  But I think you have to have some sort of spacial awareness for that, yeah?).  But darn it, now I’m not going to be a super secret spy, either!

Before I was born, my dad was in the CIA.  So I always just imagined that should I ever have the inclination, I would be a natural, right?  Because surely I inherited the genes.  But I didn’t!  In reality, it turns out I would be more of a Maxwell Smart-type (old people like me will get that reference) and I’m just so dejected.

My first inkling of my less than sneaky skills was when I ‘friended’ my brother and his wife on my Kinley Dane Facebook page.  Seems innocuous, but it took me a few days to realize that if friends and family on my personal Facebook were to see that my brother ‘liked’ or commented on something on my Kinley Dane Facebook, they would know about Kinley Dane and my super secret alter ego would be exposed!

So I regrouped my spy skills and banned my brother from liking and commenting.  When I posted a picture of myself on my Kinley Dane Facebook, I think my text to him was, ‘Whatever you do, for the love of God, DON’T LIKE OR COMMENT ON MY FACEBOOK POST!’

But then I found myself commenting on my brother’s posts in one persona and then continuing the conversation in the OTHER persona.  Multiple times.  And I couldn’t blame him for that, much to my disappointment.

The final straw came when I posted the same video on both of my Facebook pages.  I took this silly video of my pets in my bed (if you want to watch it, go here) and tried to post it directly to my personal Facebook from my phone.  After a while, when it still hadn’t appeared, I tried to post it again.  And, oddly enough, it still didn’t work, so I decided to try another way and posted it to Facebook from You Tube on my computer.  That time it showed up, so all was well.  Until I logged onto my Kinley Dane Facebook page and saw the darn video posted twice there!

So that was it, slapped rudely in the face by my own ineptitude.  But there’s good news on the horizon!  There’s still one more childhood dream job I haven’t explored, yet.

I’m going to be a lion rescuer!  Or an orphaned monkey caregiver.  OR a goat keeper.  Yeah, that is definitely one I still want to be.  I mean, what could go wrong, right?

 

goats-on-trees-in-morocco-5

 

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32 thoughts on “The Name is Bond. Jane Bond. Or Not.

  1. I feel your pain. It was only recently that I had to come to terms that I’ll never join the X-Men (X-People, please, sexist Professor X) because I think if I were to manifest mutant powers, I would have by now. But neigh, I cannot shoot lasers from my eyes or move things with my brain. I tried.
    My father (sperm donor mostly) was an undercover FBI agent, and I thought that would be cool, but then I realized he was busting pot dealers and I didn’t want to grow up to be a dick.
    Keeping the alternate personas must be hard. I’m only trying to hide my identity from potential and current employers so I don’t generally have to worry too much about people finding out. Good luck on being an orphaned monkey caregiver, but don’t breastfeed, that would be weird.

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    • Oh, you made me remember something from my childhood! I used to think I had ESP! I would have made a perfect X Woman 😉

      Oh, interesting about your father. At least my dad was beyond that stuff when he had us kids, because we wouldn’t have seen him much. And it’s true, those jobs sound way cooler than the reality, when you think about the bulk of what they do.

      I am thinking of letting go of the hiding, but not quite ready. I don’t worry about work, because my content is, shall we say, a bit different from yours, ha ha 😉

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  2. I have two email accounts attached to my phone. I send emails to the wrong person on the wrong account all the time. One time, back when I gave away the Venus FlyTrap to Bryan, I even posted the wrong email on my blog. He contacted me through that one and I was like, “Oh… That’s not right.” So I checked my blog and of course, my secret spy skills had failed me.

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  3. Subconsciously, you want to have you identity exposed. You’re like a Batman who wants everyone to know he’s Bruce Wayne. It’s good that you’re a cat-lover, though. Have you ever been photographed wearing a Catwoman costume? I’m sure you’d instinctively adopt the correct body postures.

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  4. Oh, I’m so glad I have not tried to do this. I have thought about it, creating an alter ego, completely detached from the real me, so that I could blab away freely and not worry about offending someone close to me. I guess I will keep the filter on. For now.

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    • It’s a lot of work that I never imagined when I decided to start a blog, that’s for sure! But, honestly, even though I’m anonymous, I still find myself being careful to not say certain things, because in this day and age, anything you write can potentially be found out!

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  5. Why don’t you give up the secrecy stuff? I did. I survived. I even got to chew out X on my blog, and I knew that everybody who worked with him read it and laughed. You can be anyone you want. You can be lots of people. I am.

    Love,
    Janie

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  6. Nope, being a spy is definitely not for you…obviously. Have you ever thought about being an accountant? Perhaps a sales manager. Something a little less risky. I mean being a lion tamer could go wrong in an instant.

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  7. Oh Kinley, you are too funny. I used to fantasize about being an archeologist like Indiana Jones until I found out that archeologists do nothing like what Indy did. Booo! I also love wild cats. I would totally have a white tiger or black panther if the law would allow it.

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    • I wanted to be an archeologist for a while when I first started college. Or an anthropologist, which I still think I would have enjoyed!

      There is just something so beautiful and fascinating about big cats! We went to a big cat rescue when we were in the Wisconsin Dells. It was on my birthday and I could have stayed there all day!

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      • Many years ago when I lived in Vegas I got the opportunity to spend the day on the property of the Vet/Trainer where Siegfried and Roy took their cats. I have some photos and video of me playing with a Bengal cub (trying to walk it, fail). Got to see Bengal tiger cubs right after birth, and help feed all the wild cats they had on the property. Was an amazing once in a lifetime experience.

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  8. It takes courage to be yourself on the Internet, and we’re glad to see you’re finally embracing it! Once you’ve done it for a while you’ll realize it’s not that bad. I mean, after all the terrible things we’ve said and joked about, we’ve only gotten hate mail 3-4 times. And each time it was so poorly worded and misinformed we just laughed over it.

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    • Yeah, I guess the more I open myself up, the more accustomed I get to it and it feels less scary 🙂

      Okay, so don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m pretty amazed that you’ve only gotten hate mail a handful of times, considering how online trolls are!

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