If you don’t know already, I’m 44.  This is not old-old, but it’s not young and springy fresh, either.  By this time in my life, I had thought I had long passed the call of duty of being a bridesmaid, but, if not that, then at least, at least, I never imagined I would have to wear a bridesmaid’s dress again.

Until I got the text a couple of week’s ago.

My oldest friend, Jordan, who I’ve known since 5th grade, asked another friend and me (we’ve all three been friends since high school) to be her bridesmaids in her wedding.

Okay, I thought, that’s really sweet and an honor, and the best part was I knew I wouldn’t have to wear a bridesmaid’s dress, because we had had this discussion on multiple occasions.  We were way past that stuff.  Maybe a color scheme, definitely a pretty dress, but no official bridesmaid’s gown.  Yay!

Until that text.  The text where my friend turned on me and Pam and asked if we were free to go bridesmaid’s dress shopping the Saturday after thanksgiving.

Wait, what?  Bridesmaid’s dress shopping?  We are going to be wearing bridesmaids dresses?  But, but, we agreed!  We said no bridesmaid’s dresses!  But…  Noooo!

But what could I do?  Of course I just had to say yes.  Of course I couldn’t complain.  I had to suck it up and deal with the fact that I was gonna look like an aging prom queen.  Sigh.

So when Jordan texted to confirm early in the week, I answered with a less-than-enthusiastic, ‘Sure, no problem, whatever you want, blobbety blobbety blah.’  Our friend Pam did likewise.

But then, the most wonderful thing!  A reprieve!  Jordan shared with us that the dress shopping was going to be for her bridal gown.  Woo hoo!  Now that was something I could get excited about, so I texted back enthusiastically, ‘Oh, yay, that will be so fun!  I am so excited to help you choose a dress!…yay, excitement, girl shriek, yay!’

Apparently it was obvious to Jordan that my friend Pam and I were a teeny tiny bit happy about this fortuitous turn of events when she responded to our over-the-top texts:

jordan text

Of course, this hasn’t gotten me out of wearing a bridesmaid’s dress, but I will take a reprieve when I can get it.  I’m definitely not a just-get-it-over-with kind of person.  If I can delay the inevitable, I will delay that sucker for as long as possible.

But in the meantime, we had so much fun.  I am a romantic, so watching her try on beautiful, feminine dresses made my heart happy and my eyes teary.


Wedding gowns

She tried on lots of pretties!


wedding gown from rear

She has a great booty, doesn’t she?


I imagine in a couple of months, you’ll hear me crabbing about bridesmaids dresses again, but for now I’m good. For one thing, she promised she won’t make us wear something ugly (but I’ve heard that one before…)  Plus, helping your oldest friend to choose a wedding gown kind of softens you up a bit.

And she did find one!  I can’t put up the pic here, but trust me, it is completely gorgeous.  Like she will be.  Aw 🙂


17 thoughts on “Bridesmaid

  1. Has anyone anywhere worn a bridesmaids dress and thought, “hey, not bad”? Not even sexy, or wearable, or worth wearing again, I’ve never even heard someone call a bridesmaids dress adequate. I blame the designers. I’ve watched enough Project Runway to know when it’s a lazy designer problem. MAKE IT WORK, bridesmaid dress designers! If this is a first marriage, it’s okay to make your friends wear god awful bridesmaids dresses, but after that, the marriage should be in the backyard and people wear what they want, overalls aren’t even out of the question. Good luck to you during this troubling time for friends of the betrothed.


    • The funny things is, brides always say, ‘this is a good one, you’ll be able to wear it again!’ and no one ever, in the history of ever, has worn a bridesmaid’s dress again. They are just so specifically wedding party! I think the main problem with them is that one dress is never gonna look good on all the different body types that will wear it. And why does everyone have to wear the same dress, anyway? It’s an odd custom, if you ask me. I haven’t been married before, but I would still totally do a barbecue in the back yard in casual clothes any day!


  2. One thing that I never considered before I got the job, is that I’ve helped dozens of women find their wedding shoes. Either the shoes match their dress or it’s flip flops/flats for afterwards or it’s for their 30 bridesmaids. Once, I sold wedding shoes to the bride and then she bought 11 pairs of earrings (and then they kept adding more, I think the total was 17). The jewelry was like $4.99 each and cost more than the shoes did. So the sales were great for me, but I got to help that nice lady plan a HUGE a (small part of) day for her. It’s such a nice feeling.


    • That’s so true, Rachel! Of all the annoying things about your customers and your job, at least you get to contribute to the bride’s most special day 🙂 And I’m sure you are excellent at helping them choose.


  3. The affection between you girls is just beautiful and reminds me of how female gorillas interact. Miss Jordan does have a delightful little tush (although nothing that couldn’t be improved by climbing a few trees with her hairy cousins). I think you’ll look better in a blue dress than a white one.


    • We are really more like sisters since we’ve known each other practically our entire lives. And, ha ha, I’ll tell her our new work out regime is going to be climbing in trees with apes, she’ll love it.

      Actually, I do believe our dresses are going to be on the blue spectrum, so that’s good!


  4. The Hurricane was a bridesmaid recently. The dress was beautiful. The Hurricane looked beautiful. Some relatives saw her Facebook page and sent me emails that said, I don’t know why The Hurricane is dressed up, but she looks great.

    So people didn’t look at the dress and say, Ew, that’s a bridesmaid’s dress.

    I don’t know if The Hurricane will ever wear the dress again, but it could be worn to another wedding that she’s not in, or some other formal affair. At least your friend asked you to be in the wedding. Wouldn’t it hurt if an old friend didn’t include you? I have a feeling you will wear the most beautiful, comfortable bridesmaid’s dress ever designed.



    • Well that gives me hope 🙂 Jordan has excellent taste, it’s just that I’ve been burned by the bridesmaid’s dress deal before, ha ha.

      And for sure I am so happy to be in her wedding!!


  5. I think half of it’s the dress, and half of it’s the woman. Certain dresses just look better on certain women no matter what. Like at my cohorts wedding, some of the bridesmaids looked stunning, and some looked like Smeagol in a silk trashbag. Hey, just sayin’. I’m sure you’ll look great in whatever dress you end up with, though.


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